1 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,320 Hello. 2 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,840 - Hello. - Hello, everybody. 3 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,480 Hello. 4 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,440 Hello. 5 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,040 Thank you. 6 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,480 And - thank you - and coming up 7 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,080 in this never-to-be-forgotten show... 8 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,360 Richard operates a bat... 9 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,200 James sits in a car humming... 10 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,640 and I park outside a cathedral. 11 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,560 Thank you so much. 12 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,040 Exciting stuff. 13 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,560 Now, this is... 14 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,320 this is a bit of a Ford-based show. 15 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,720 Because we were staggered to hear the other day, 16 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,040 that they're thinking of pulling the plug 17 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,760 on the Mondeo. 18 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,040 Now this is enormous news. 19 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,120 In Britain, losing the Mondeo is a bit like... 20 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,760 Well, losing the Royal Family. 21 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,520 And if that happens, someone would make a documentary about them. 22 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,840 Quite. Which is why we decided this week 23 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,040 The Grand Tour should make a documentary 24 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:17,040 about the passing of Ford's medium-sized family saloon. 25 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,080 It's exciting stuff. 26 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,840 The Mondeo story actually begins way back 27 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,879 when the world was black and white, 28 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,000 with this - 29 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,960 the Ford Cortina. 30 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,680 This is Genesis, the first chapter 31 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,880 in easily the most important book 32 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,040 in British motoring history. 33 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,840 It came along in 1962 34 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,760 and apart from the CND rear lights, 35 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,720 it was nothing special. 36 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,840 It wasn't revolutionary like the Mini. 37 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,560 It was just an ordinary family saloon. 38 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,360 Ford therefore decided that to put it on the map 39 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,160 they'd mount an assault on the world's racetracks. 40 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,680 Which meant creating a high-performance version. 41 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:15,160 The world's first ever fast Ford. 42 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,880 And this is what they came up with. 43 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,080 Life doesn't get much better than this. 44 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,040 Cadwell Park, sunny day... 45 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,520 Mark One Lotus Cortina. 46 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,400 This thing is a riot. 47 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:55,160 It had a revolutionary twin-cam 1.6 litre engine. 48 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,920 Which sounds like 49 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,760 a murder of mad bees. 50 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,760 It revved like hell. 51 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,080 All the way to 8,000 RPM. 52 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,520 And produced 105 horsepower. 53 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,760 Ha-ha, ha-ha! 54 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,880 Oh, wow! 55 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,640 The result was some spectacular performance. 56 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,240 The road cars would do 108 mph. 57 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,480 And in race trim that shot up to 145. 58 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,800 That was the stuff of spaceships back then. 59 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,040 And best of all... 60 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,920 if you were really on it, 61 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,720 it would lift the front wheel in the corners. 62 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,920 On the downside it didn't stop properly... 63 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,920 and there was very little grip. 64 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,200 So it was an over-steer mentalist. 65 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:03,600 It was also astonishingly brittle. 66 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,440 Autocar magazine ran one for a year. 67 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,880 29,000 miles. 68 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:11,359 And in that time, it needed six rear axles 69 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,080 and three sets of rear suspension. 70 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,000 And probably a whole load of new half-shafts as well, 71 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,800 because they were made from chocolate. 72 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,480 But it didn't matter. 73 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,480 Because the Lotus Cortina wasn't designed to last a lifetime. 74 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:28,080 It was designed to last about 40 minutes. 75 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,520 Because that is how long a race lasted. 76 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,040 Back in the early '60s, saloon-car racing in Britain 77 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,080 was just about the most exciting motor sport 78 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:43,240 the world had ever seen. 79 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:46,400 The massive American Fords would roar down the straights 80 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,000 and then in the corners the army of Minis 81 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,760 would be right back at them. 82 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,760 It was beautiful, snarling chaos. 83 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,960 But when the dust settled, it was the Lotus Cortina 84 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,760 that was doing the winning. 85 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,720 - It actually won the Championship in 1964... 86 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:10,000 and it didn't only shine on the tracks. 87 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:15,360 In 1966, it won the RAC Rally of Britain. 88 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,160 They even drove one down the bobsleigh run in the Italian resort 89 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:23,640 after which the Cortina had been named. 90 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,960 Here's what the famed bobsled run looks like 91 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:30,400 from the driver's seat of the world-famous Cortina. 92 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,440 At this point in history, rationing had only just 93 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,440 given way to The Rolling Stones. 94 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,120 Hemlines were going up 95 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,600 and all kinds of groovy stuff was going down. 96 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,880 And the glamorous Cortina 97 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,440 caught the mood of the moment perfectly. 98 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:52,240 It was exciting. The first car ever that made 99 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:55,000 the ordinary family man feel special. 100 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,440 Like he wasn't just a downtrodden cog. 101 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,520 And it was the same story with the Mark II Cortina. 102 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,080 And the Mark III. 103 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,360 The result was spectacular. 104 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:11,560 One car in every three sold in the UK was a Ford. 105 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,080 And one in ten was a Cortina. 106 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:18,160 Everyone I've spoken to while I've been preparing this film has said the same thing. 107 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,600 "Oh, yeah, my dad used to have one of those." 108 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,920 I mean, on the crew here, whose dad had a Cortina? 109 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,640 Ha! Look at that. It's everyone. 110 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,240 Apart from the director, obviously, who has a double-barrelled name, 111 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,400 so his dad had a Range Rover. But anyway... 112 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,280 the point is, these were the best-selling cars 113 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,400 Britain had ever seen... by miles. 114 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,480 Of course it wasn't all rampant sexism 115 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:47,800 and hilarious handling that Ford used to make a name for its family saloon. 116 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,280 There was some important business stuff too. 117 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:57,520 Back in late-1960s Britain, if you earned £3,000 a year 118 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:01,760 the government would take 41% of it away in tax. 119 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,000 So, to get round this problem, a lot of companies 120 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:05,760 paid their staff a bit less, 121 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,240 but then to make up the difference 122 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,720 they gave them... a car. 123 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,680 And that... 124 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,760 wasn't subject to any tax at all. 125 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,200 Ford cottoned on to that. 126 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,800 And came up with a variety of trim levels 127 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,520 to suit the typical management structure. 128 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,600 There was a base model for the sales rep. 129 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,960 And the L for the sales manager. 130 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,960 Then you had the XL with a clock and a locking glove compartment 131 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,280 for the sales director. 132 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:46,160 And the powerful GT for the managing director. 133 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:51,879 Ford's badging policy quite literally changed the class system in Britain. 134 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:55,280 Because we used to judge people on how they held their knife and fork, 135 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,240 or whether they said toilet or lavatory. 136 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,280 But after the Cortina came along, 137 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,760 it was all based on what it said on your boot lid. 138 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,960 Our dads understood what these badges meant. 139 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,600 And boy, oh, boy, so did we. 140 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,400 You join me in Doncaster outside my old school. 141 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,200 And I remember very clearly 142 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,400 coming out of that door one afternoon in 1969, 143 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:30,880 skipping along here, coming round this gatepost here, 144 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,759 and I noticed that parked over there 145 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:37,160 was a 1600E - an E - in amber gold. 146 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,320 Just like that one. 147 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,640 And in it... was my dad. 148 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,760 And that was impossible. 149 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,760 The E was the absolute king of the hill. 150 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,520 It had four dials set into its wooden dash. 151 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:58,600 It had a leather and aluminium steering wheel. 152 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,760 And on the outside there were Rostyle wheels 153 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,040 and front fog lamps. 154 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,880 It was beautiful and wondrous 155 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,160 and exciting beyond words. 156 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:17,720 I can still remember now, vividly, how I felt. 157 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,840 My knees actually buckled. 158 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,360 I mean... 159 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,840 The hairs on the back of my neck are rising now 160 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:33,639 in exactly the same way as they did on that autumn day 50 years ago. 161 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:37,040 I can also remember the enormity of the hug I gave my dad, 162 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,640 cos I was just so proud of him. 163 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:44,320 I mean, he had an E! An E stood for Executive. 164 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,720 My dad had a 1600E. 165 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:52,160 I mean, that meant he was better than the Duke of Edinburgh. 166 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,160 A few years later in South Wales, 167 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,960 another young boy called James May 168 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:06,000 went through the exact same thing. 169 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,200 I was at my mate Andrew Jones's house, just up the road from ours, 170 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,080 when his dad came in and said that my dad 171 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,680 had just arrived home and he had a new car. 172 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,120 So, I went outside... 173 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,200 and there parked next to the kerb, 174 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,480 was a brand-new Cortina GXL. 175 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,600 And I thought, "Well, that can't be my dad's new car." 176 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,800 But it was. 177 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:37,760 This was the all-new Mark III Cortina. 178 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,520 And, because it was the GXL model, 179 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,040 it had chrome strips on the grille, 180 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,000 and a vinyl roof. 181 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:49,000 And four auxiliary dials that were angled towards the driver. 182 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,120 It also had something called a rev counter, 183 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,400 and I'd never seen one of those before. 184 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,000 But when I looked at it, 185 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,560 I suddenly became aware that my body could produce semen. 186 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,440 Unfortunately, not all children in Britain 187 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,640 were as fortunate as James and me. 188 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,960 Because some of them were born in Birmingham. 189 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,200 And you couldn't really have a Ford here 190 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,320 because this was the home of British Leyland. 191 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,960 I grew up here on this street. 192 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,320 And I remember the day my dad came home with our new car. 193 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:45,080 I prayed it would be a Cortina. Literally prayed. 194 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,080 But it wasn't. 195 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,680 What it was... was a shoulder-sagging 196 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,720 bag of disappointment 197 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,480 called the Austin Allegro Estate. 198 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,600 It doesn't even have four doors. 199 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,520 What was my father thinking? 200 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,200 Why did he do that to us? 201 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,880 I fell to my childish knees, 202 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,640 threw my head back and I howled at the sky. 203 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,320 Birds across Birmingham took off. 204 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,680 Deer in Stratford-upon-Avon looked up. 205 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,160 Such was my horror. 206 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,720 This was the summit. This was it! 207 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,160 This is the best that we, the Hammonds, could do. 208 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,080 We lived in suburbia. People drive past all the time. 209 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,720 They see your car. They judge you if have a wishing well or a gate. 210 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,320 We had this! On our drive! 211 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,880 Where people could see it. 212 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,440 Because my dad had the GXL 213 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:42,560 he got the brake servo and the alternator as standard. 214 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,240 I'm sorry to keep banging on about this GXL thing, 215 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:49,080 but my mate Lonnie, his dad only had an XL. 216 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,760 So he was scum. 217 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,160 I walked home from school. 218 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,440 That wasn't cos I wanted the exercise. 219 00:13:56,480 --> 00:14:00,160 That's because I would rather walk or hop or crawl 30 miles 220 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,600 than be seen getting into that. 221 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,880 It's cars like this, 222 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,200 it's secrets, dark secrets like this 223 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,240 lurking in people's pasts 224 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,720 that creates serial killers and psychopaths. 225 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,480 It's a bloody miracle I'm not one. 226 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,760 It's not being short that makes me an angry man, 227 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,840 or being born in Birmingham, it's this! It's you! 228 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,680 I could have been great, 229 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,760 I could have had dignity, social standing. 230 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,600 I could have mattered. But you came into my life... 231 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,400 My dad bought a Mark III Cortina 232 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,120 because he had three children 233 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,840 and he wanted them to be safe. 234 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,240 And he knew they would be safe, 235 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,720 because Ford had made a film telling him so. 236 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,120 We've got the teddy bears in, we've got the golf clubs. 237 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,000 We've got the racing car. 238 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,360 And if you don't happen to carry those things 239 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,000 but you have a bigger family, 240 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,960 you can pack those in as well. 241 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,040 Even with five children in the back, 242 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,720 you can drive in a more or less relaxed fashion, 243 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,960 safe in the knowledge that they're kept in the four-door Cortina 244 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,920 with child-proof safety locks. 245 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,880 I've never driven one of these before, 246 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,720 and to be honest, I never wanted to, 247 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,680 because that really would be meeting a childhood hero. 248 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,720 I love it, though. It's... 249 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,160 You can see even better now, can't you? 250 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,920 What about this one? That's it. 251 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,640 Back in 1974, we used to have regular power cuts 252 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,120 because of the miners' strike, 253 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,160 and there was absolutely nothing to do 254 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,320 in our completely pitch-black house. 255 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,400 So I used to go outside and sit in my dad's car 256 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,120 and just pretend to drive it, which was brilliant. 257 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,440 Not least because you could turn the light on, 258 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,280 which you couldn't do in the house. 259 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,160 Lights. 260 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,600 Oh, I used to love the power cuts. 261 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,800 Outside of Birmingham, then, 262 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,800 everyone young and old was in love 263 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,760 with Ford's four-door saloon. 264 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,400 Because of this love affair, 265 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:08,560 Ford sold a Cortina somewhere in Britain every 47 seconds. 266 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:12,880 In 20 years, they sold 2.6 million of them. 267 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,680 And let me put it this way: 268 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,840 British Leyland took twice as long as that 269 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,680 to sell half as many Minis. 270 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:29,480 The Cortina then had become a part of the fabric of Britain. 271 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,800 It was the nitrogen of our existence. 272 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:39,120 But, on 22nd July 1982... 273 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,280 Ford pulled the plug. 274 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,360 And that was the end of that. 275 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,800 - Sad story of the Cortina. - Yeah, it is. 276 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,800 - But it's a great story. - It goes on. 277 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,640 - Yeah. - Do you feel better? 278 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,680 - Um... yeah. A bit. - That's good. 279 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,280 I just want to do... I just want to do one thing. 280 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,800 Can I just ask, how many people's dads here had Cortinas? 281 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,120 - This is... Look at that. - Yeah. 282 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,920 That's an astonishing array, isn't it? 283 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,480 - Amazing. - Yes, it is. 284 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,560 It makes me feel really... Just to put some perspective on this. 285 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,559 - Ford sold 2.6 million Cortinas. - Hm. 286 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,560 Austin... 287 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,920 - sold 57,000 Allegro Estates. That's it. 288 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,720 - It's a shame one of them was to your dad. - You're damn right! 289 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,520 It ruined my life. 290 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,680 Anyway, we shall pick up the Ford story later on. 291 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,680 But now it is time for us to deploy 292 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,240 the plastic bag of chat, 293 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,440 to scoop up some dog eggs of debate... 294 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:43,800 - from the pavements of Conversation Street. 295 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,680 - Wow. - I don't know. I don't know. 296 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,880 - Whatever it was. - Er... 297 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:03,000 Now actually, despite the incredible snazziness of those graphics, 298 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,680 we don't actually have time 299 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,079 - for traditional Conversation Street this week. - No. 300 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,960 Because we are engaged, as we said, 301 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,200 - in important documentary-making work. - We are. 302 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,960 Which is why I would like to talk about 303 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,760 - body-coloured bumpers. - Ooh! 304 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,760 - I think you should. - Yes, I will, because in the old days, 305 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,720 if you were driving up the motorway and a car came up behind you, 306 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,520 and they had bumpers the same colour as the car, 307 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,400 and you only had black plastic bumpers, 308 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:27,960 you knew you had to get out of the way. 309 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,560 - You did. - They were better than you. 310 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,079 Yeah, they were better than you because of that. 311 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,480 What if you were driving up the motorway, 312 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,400 looked in the rear-view mirror, OK, 313 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,560 and you saw the car behind had head restraints? 314 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,800 Honestly, head restraints, 315 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,080 I used to look at those in the way people these days 316 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,760 look at superyachts. 317 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,440 They were simply unattainable. I mean, you could not... 318 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,200 These were the symbols of rank. 319 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,319 - I mean, if you had a sun roof... - Oh! 320 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,880 You were an emperor. 321 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,000 What if... it was an electric sun roof? 322 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,560 Oh, my God! 323 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,520 You were probably from space, you were a space emperor! 324 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,680 Let me see if I can explain this in a language 325 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,240 people under 40 understand, OK? 326 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,000 It's the same as going for a job, OK, 327 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,480 and your boss saying, "We're gonna give you a pay cut, 328 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,799 but we're gonna give you a phone, OK? 329 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,920 And this phone you can use to make calls, 330 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,400 and then if you work really hard for a couple of years, 331 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,520 we'll give you an iPhone L, 332 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,319 and you can use that to make texts as well. 333 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,936 And then if you stay with us for 30 years, 334 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,280 and you never put a foot wrong, 335 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,640 you can have an iPhone GXL." 336 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:35,320 Because that's what... I mean, I have no idea which one this is. 337 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,480 - No, is it a 7, an 8, a 9? I don't know. - No, you don't know. 338 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,559 But the thing is, under 1970s rules, you would have known, 339 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,800 because that would have had a great big chrome GXL badge on. 340 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,160 And a chrome strip round the outside and fog lights here. 341 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,160 - Yeah, exactly, so you would know. - They were the badges of rank 342 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,799 and everybody could see them. That was the world we lived in. 343 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,079 My dad, right, when he had the 1600E, 344 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,400 he had a minor front-end biff in it, yes? 345 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:02,000 The local Ford garage replaced the damaged grille with one from a 1600 Super. 346 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,040 And my dad said, "Oh, it doesn't matter." 347 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:08,080 But it did! It was more important than the Vietnam War! 348 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,040 - I mean, it... - You were being... being publicly humiliated. 349 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,760 People were going, "You haven't got a 1600E, there's chrome..." It is a 1600E! 350 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,799 "You just put fog lights on." We haven't! 351 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,400 - We've really got one! - These things mattered so much. 352 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,720 - Oh, they really did. - Didn't... You had a 1600E? 353 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,080 Oh, we did. No, ten years after my dad sold his, I bought one. 354 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,280 - Well done, that was imaginative. - It was... 355 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,280 Says the man whose first car was? 356 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,880 - Toyota Corolla? - It was a Liftback, actually. 357 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,760 Yeah, but my 1600E, I modified it, and put... 358 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,280 I put a Debbie Harry badge in the middle of the steering wheel. 359 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,960 Fur-lined doors... 360 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,319 - Ooh! - Wolfrace seats... 361 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:50,760 And a chromed sports air filter, which I told me mates, 362 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,080 "That gives extra 40 horsepower, that does." It didn't. Not really. 363 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,760 - But I told my mates it did. - Do you know what you did there? 364 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,319 - What? - By fitting those extra bits 365 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,400 like the sports air filter onto your car, 366 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:04,520 you were effectively calling yourself Jeremy Clarkson OBE 367 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,720 - when you didn't have one. - It is a bit like that. 368 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,799 With those fur-lined doors you had interfered with the class system. 369 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,680 Mm, mm. But let's not forget, shall we, 370 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,440 you modified your Corolla by driving it into a Volvo. 371 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,280 Yeah, I did. 372 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,720 I did do that, it was my first crash. 373 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,920 - The first of many. - Yes, all right. Yes. 374 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,000 - Rather set the trend for your life, didn't it? - I got the hang of it. 375 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,720 - Yes. Yes, OK. - "I like crashing, I'll make a living out of this. 376 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,560 - There I go again." - And I did. 377 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,760 Exactly. 378 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,160 Oh, God. 379 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,000 Do you know, I've... I've never actually owned a Ford. 380 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,319 - What, never? - No. 381 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,680 That's like saying you've never owned your own pen. 382 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,400 I've never bought a stamp. 383 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,080 - I mean, even I have managed to own a Ford. - Really? 384 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,240 After I left Birmingham, I moved on, and I had two. 385 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,080 But sort of in the same car. 386 00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:00,440 The front... front of one and the back of the other joined. 387 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,680 - It was absolutely hopeless. - Were they the same colour? 388 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:07,160 Well, when I bought them, broadly similar, yes, they were. 389 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,800 Look, this is, it's not really Conversation Street, is it? 390 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,280 - No. - It's more Memory Lane. 391 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,920 Anyway, we now have to get back to the Cortina. 392 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,680 Yes, we do, because when it was killed off in 1982, 393 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:21,080 Ford didn't give up on the idea of a multi-million-selling 394 00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:23,000 medium-sized family saloon, 395 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,080 they came up with a replacement. 396 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,120 It was called the Sierra. 397 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,600 Here is a picture of it. And, to begin with, 398 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,920 - it was a bit of a lemon, wasn't it? - It was. 399 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,680 When it came out, everybody said they hated 400 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,680 its kind of futuristic, aerodynamic shape. 401 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,880 They said it looked horrid, like a jelly mould. 402 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,840 And then everybody worked out 403 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,360 the aerodynamics didn't even work. 404 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,480 No, it turned out in a straight line it was fine, 405 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,960 but when it got hit by a crosswind, 406 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,240 or would overtake a truck on the motorway, 407 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:50,960 it would veer about like a drunk. 408 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,320 Yeah, another problem was the motor trade hated it 409 00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:57,240 because that plastic front end, if you had a crash, 410 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,680 it would boing back into shape, which was brilliant. 411 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:04,760 But you didn't know that everything behind it was actually smashed to pieces. 412 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,920 Now, Ford decided there was only one way 413 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,520 to get everybody to fall in love with its new mid-sized family saloon. 414 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,680 It was something they'd done before. 415 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,120 Make a fast version. 416 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,280 What they came up with was this... 417 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,920 the Sierra RS Cosworth. 418 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:29,960 A car that could do 150 miles an hour. 419 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:47,880 It was 1986. Lots of cars could do 150, but not a Ford. 420 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:51,640 That was madness. BMW and Mercedes could not believe it. 421 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:56,120 This was the gardener coming into the parlour and kicking the baron's teeth out. 422 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,840 The blue-bloods were being absolutely battered by this - 423 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,040 the blue-collar worker. 424 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,640 The Sierra's muscle came from Cosworth. 425 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,320 The British engine builder 426 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:17,760 whose most famous Formula One V8 427 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:22,360 had taken a staggering 176 Grand Prix victories. 428 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:27,680 They took a drab, cast-iron saloon car engine 429 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,320 and fitted it with an aluminium twin-cam head, 430 00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:33,280 a turbo the size of a dustbin, 431 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,360 and turned it into a masterpiece. 432 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,840 It was built to be a hard-working unit, this. 433 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,560 As you can tell. 434 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,480 The interesting thing about this engine, is if you look carefully 435 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,480 you can see there's a second set of injectors 436 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,880 that weren't actually connected to anything. 437 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:55,520 They were installed because Ford knew they'd be necessary 438 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:59,080 when they did what they always did with their family cars... 439 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,040 go racing with them. 440 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:07,280 With those injectors engaged, and bigger turbos fitted, 441 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:13,680 the race cars were churning out a massive 525 horsepower. 442 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,920 They were unstoppable. 443 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,920 The Ford Sierra Cosworth, 444 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:23,320 the top touring car of the day. 445 00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:26,160 In its day, the Sierra won 84% 446 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,080 of races it entered. 447 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:31,320 84%. 448 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:35,120 And that makes it the most successful racing car ever made. 449 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,200 I'd love to meet a driver who raced one and didn't win. 450 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,400 "Right, so I had absolutely the best tool for the job, 451 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,280 and everyone else has won with it except me. 452 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:48,960 I'm fired, aren't I?" 453 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,600 To keep the road-going rocket ship 454 00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,240 pointing mostly in the right direction, 455 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:04,320 it got beefed-up suspension, a limited slip diff, 456 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:06,120 and its most famous feature... 457 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,920 that massive back wing. 458 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,400 And that wing says everything about the Cosworth. 459 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,720 Compared with grown-up things from Mercedes and BMW, 460 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,560 it said, "Ah, sod off! 461 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,760 I don't care what you think about me." 462 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:24,960 But it was also there for a reason, 463 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,840 to make actual downforce. 464 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,160 Which, according to men called Gav 465 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,120 in every flat-roof pub in the country, 466 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,320 meant the Sierra could drive upside-down 467 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:36,280 on the roof of a tunnel. 468 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:41,400 I'm not sure about that. 469 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,240 This thing is still pretty lively. 470 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,520 Ha-ha, ha-ha! 471 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,200 It brings out the worst in you. 472 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,600 This is like a really bad mate. 473 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,320 You know, the one you absolutely love 474 00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:14,000 but nobody appreciates you hanging around with him. 475 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:21,280 Cosworth turned the Sierra into one of the most desirable cars on the planet. 476 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,360 And because it only cost 17 grand, 477 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,520 six grand less than a BMW M3, 478 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,200 your local builder could have one. 479 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:36,880 However, while everyone wanted Ford's latest working-class hero, 480 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,200 not everyone was prepared to pay for it. 481 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,840 - Joy riders... - Joy riders... 482 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,480 Joy riders in a stolen Sierra Cosworth... 483 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,000 driving around a Newcastle housing estate... 484 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,800 The high-performance vehicle is the twoccer's favourite. 485 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,560 In the late '80s, 486 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,040 car crime saw a massive spike. 487 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:59,040 And the Cosworth was at its tip. 488 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,960 Here was a car with the performance of a supercar 489 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,080 and the locks of a shed. 490 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:10,360 If you had five seconds and a screwdriver, 491 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,520 you too could have a Sierra Cosworth. 492 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,440 And whatever you did next, the fuzz couldn't catch you. 493 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,160 Ford tried to get on top of things, 494 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,000 by stripping off the wing, 495 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,640 and putting the firecracker engine 496 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,800 into a sober, four-door shell... 497 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,440 to make this the Sierra Sapphire Cosworth. 498 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:32,680 But it didn't work. 499 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,600 If anything, the crims were grateful. 500 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,240 "Oh, thanks, back doors. 501 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,960 Makes it easier for the lads to get in after a bank job." 502 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,920 But ultimately... What? 503 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,200 Oh, for God's sake! 504 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,640 Things got so bad by the early '90s 505 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,840 that the Sierra Cosworth was five-and-half times more likely to be stolen 506 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,320 than any other car. 507 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,560 There were many owners who reported being followed by criminals, 508 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:09,080 waiting for them to park so they could nick it. 509 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,040 That would take the edge off the pleasure of owning it, if I'm honest. 510 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,960 Ford got so desperate, 511 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,400 they dropped the price of the Cosworth by £7,000 - 512 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,000 the value of an entire Fiesta - 513 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,040 just to shift the things. 514 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:26,120 And even that didn't work. 515 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,200 There were numerous reports at the time of Cosworth owners 516 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,080 receiving insurance quotes that were more than the value of the car. 517 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,640 And eventually, insuring a Sierra Cosworth 518 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,760 became not just expensive but impossible. 519 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,720 They were uninsurable. 520 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,720 But by then, it didn't matter. 521 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,840 The Sierra Cosworth had done its job, 522 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:54,480 just as the Lotus Cortina had done 25 years earlier, 523 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:59,160 by making an ordinary family saloon seem impossibly cool. 524 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,920 Honestly, I was flipping drooling. 525 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,840 - It's a legend of a car. - Absolute legend. 526 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,880 I was drooling, watching. 527 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,360 I absolutely loved... 528 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:25,680 I adored the Sierra Cosworth. 529 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,440 - It was brilliant. - Fabulous. 530 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:31,720 Absolutely fabulous, but I need to do a bit more documentary work. 531 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,560 - I think you should. - The Cosworth wasn't the most important thing 532 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,760 about the Sierra. The most important thing was, 533 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,160 the Sierra changed the Labour Party. 534 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,800 - Really? - It genuinely did. 535 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,440 A young Tony Blair was out canvassing one day, 536 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,920 saw a man washing his Sierra on the drive, 537 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,680 sort of went up to him. 538 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,560 The Labour Party policy back then, as now, actually, 539 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,760 was to get the man out of his car and back where he belonged on a bus. 540 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,160 - Yes. - Tony Blair realised this guy didn't want to go on a bus. 541 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:02,560 He wanted a better Sierra, faster Sierra, Sierra with headrests. 542 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,880 So he went away and he created New Labour 543 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:06,840 as a result of that conversation. 544 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,800 And then started an illegal war. 545 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,360 Well, he did. 546 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:14,800 Well... 547 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,560 Well, he did. 548 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,400 He did. He did. 549 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,560 He did do those... He did do those two things, yes. 550 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,200 Should we get back to the car? 551 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,120 Good idea, because we must now find out how fast... 552 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,640 Let's see if I can still pronounce it properly. 553 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,800 - The Cozzer... - Yeah, you've still got it. 554 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,720 The Cozzer. You know what I mean? The Cozzer. 555 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:38,960 Let's see how fast it goes round the Eboladrome. 556 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,200 And away it goes, gentle off the line, 557 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:45,040 but then a scuff of wheel spin as the turbo roars into life 558 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,000 and catapults it onto the Isn't. 559 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,840 The 1980s gear change workout there, 560 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,960 and a lot of body roll on those soft '80s springs. 561 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:01,840 Ooh, look at that! 562 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,440 Driving it like it's stolen, 563 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,680 which 30 years ago, it would have been. 564 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,800 Here we go, ooh, yeah, bit of oversteer into Your Name Here. 565 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,800 You don't see that from the modern stuff. 566 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,480 And now the turbo lag clears 567 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,000 as it fires back down the Isn't. 568 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,800 This won't be the fastest car we've ever seen, 569 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:22,840 but I can bet you Abbie is having an absolute riot in there. 570 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,440 OK, hard braking for Old Lady's House, 571 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,360 wrestling it in, keeping it neat 572 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,520 through the right, and then the left. 573 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:35,640 And now back on the power for the blast to Substation. 574 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,360 Engine note that screams, "Oi, Gary!" 575 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,400 That's it, braking, flicks it in like a touring car driver. 576 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,600 Only Field of Sheep left. 577 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:48,400 Not much drama there, and across the line! 578 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,760 That looks great, looks really exciting. 579 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,240 I was really expecting the full crossed up... 580 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,600 No, but that... it does that four-wheel drift thing, 581 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,040 same as the Lotus Cortina, wah! 582 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,480 - It's what they do. - Anyway, let's see now 583 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:04,000 how quickly Abbie got it round the Eboladrome. 584 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,960 Let's find out the time - oh, quicker than I thought. 585 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,480 Oh-ho! 586 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,000 What? 587 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,840 Well, it's faster than a Lamborghini. 588 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,440 I told you that thing was slow, 589 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,880 it's actually slower than a Ford Sierra. 590 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,120 But the interesting thing for me there 591 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,360 is it's quicker than a Ford Fiesta ST200, 592 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,920 and they both have the same power, about 200 horsepower. 593 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,400 They did, yeah. I think what that goes to show is, 594 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,200 despite all the improvements in suspension and tyres, 595 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:34,440 you can't beat fitting something with a sodding great turbo. 596 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,880 - Exactly. - A massive turbo does the job. 597 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,920 Anyway, can I get back to our documentary, yes? 598 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,240 In 1993, Ford stopped making the Sierra 599 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:46,800 and decided instead to export the idea 600 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,480 that had revolutionised Britain to the whole world. 601 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:54,000 What they came up with was something they called a World Car. 602 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,480 Something not just for everyone here, 603 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,360 but for everyone everywhere. 604 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,400 They called it the Mondeo. 605 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:05,640 And it achieved something that no car in history has ever managed. 606 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,000 Over the years, Richard, James and I have driven 607 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,960 almost every car ever made. 608 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,000 We've waxed lyrical about many of them... 609 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,800 drooling over their styling... 610 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,760 or their handling... 611 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,520 or the way they make the roots of our penises fizz. 612 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:44,200 But incredibly, there is only one car that we all like. 613 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:49,960 This one - 614 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,680 the Mondeo ST Estate. 615 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,639 Let's be clear, there are lots of cars we all don't like. 616 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,320 - Yeah, yes. - Nissan Juke. 617 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:08,880 Hate it. The Beetle. 618 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,320 Good one on the Beetle, we all hate that. 619 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,880 - Nissan "Quashquai". - Yeah, that's a good one. 620 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,800 Audi Q5. 621 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:17,760 - No, don't like that. - All hate that. 622 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,160 - And the Q7. - And the Q7. We all hate that. 623 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,560 - Jaguar X-Type. - Yeah, we all hate that. 624 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,400 The new Land Rover Discovery. 625 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:25,639 - Yes. - Yeah. 626 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,040 BMW X3. 627 00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:28,159 - Yep, yeah. - Yes. 628 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,160 - Mini Countryman. - Oh, yeah, yeah! 629 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,600 We all hate that. 630 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,920 So, we've established there are many, many cars we all don't like. 631 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,840 But cars we do like? 632 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,880 - There's this. - There's this. 633 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,520 What about the Subaru Legacy Outback? 634 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,160 But the front diff's rubbish. 635 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,640 You can't go round a corner when you're going slowly. 636 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,760 - So it's a bit annoying. - So it is just this? 637 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,840 - Yeah. - This is it. 638 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,600 Do you know what I liked? It's the fast version, but it was still comfortable. 639 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,960 These seats were great. It still rides properly. 640 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,560 It doesn't make a terrible racket, it's just civilised. 641 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,640 I like the way it was a practical estate. 642 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:09,040 It had a massive boot, and Ford had the sense to give it five doors. 643 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:11,760 Which is something Austin didn't think of with the Allegro. 644 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,760 No, that is true. I like the speed. 645 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,160 Oh, there's a surprise. 646 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,160 V6 engine, 200 horsepower. 647 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:26,159 0-60, seven seconds. Top speed, 150. 648 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,120 It didn't look it, but this was as quick as a Cosworth. 649 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:36,800 And when they turned it into the ST220 in 2002, 650 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:40,040 it looked right as well. 651 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,480 They should have sold these by the million. 652 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,320 But there was a problem. 653 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,480 This. 654 00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:57,360 The first so-called MPV, the Toyota Picnic. 655 00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:00,480 In 1996 when it was first introduced, we laughed at it, 656 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,320 because it seemed so stupid. 657 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:09,960 I mean, why name a car after something you might do in it? Picnic. 658 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,280 No, they didn't have a Toyota Dentist, did they? 659 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,880 The Honda Pop-to-the-Shops. It's just an ordinary act, it's not even exciting. 660 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,640 The Volkswagen Dogging. 661 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:19,320 It's just a stupid idea. 662 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:20,960 A naff thing to do. 663 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:25,120 It cost the same as a Mondeo, it was just a bit taller. 664 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,560 Yeah. It's in case your head suddenly grows tall. 665 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,120 Was there a fashion for wearing 666 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,639 Victorian industrialist hats at the time? 667 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,280 - No, there wasn't. - Well, there's no excuse for it, then. 668 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,159 Unless you've actually got a Busby 669 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,040 glued to the top of your head... 670 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:40,800 There is no other reason. 671 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,960 And what troubles me, 672 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,600 is think of the damage this did to children. 673 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,680 "Come out and see the new car, kids!" 674 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,440 - It's just a Picnic! - "That... 675 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,200 That's our car. 676 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:56,600 It's hateful!" 677 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,400 It's dismal. 678 00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,400 "It's got big windows so people will see me in it." 679 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,120 It actually says, "Family fun vehicle" on it. 680 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,040 It doesn't? What's fun about it? 681 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:08,960 It isn't more fun. 682 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,360 We thought, when it first came along, that it would be a fad, 683 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,400 like culottes, or deep fried brie, 684 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,320 or Crocs, or tattoos. 685 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,040 Something where you think, "Oh, that's fun," 686 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,800 and then realise five minutes later that it's actually ridiculous. 687 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:26,280 But, no. 688 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,880 This idiotic tall car idea 689 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,000 actually started to catch on. 690 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,840 Renault came up with their version, 691 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:37,880 which was called the Scenic. 692 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,680 And pretty soon, everyone was at it - 693 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,960 Mazda, Fiat, Vauxhall, the lot! 694 00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,600 Think what you started, you bastard. 695 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,840 You deserve this, and you're having it. 696 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,760 And you're having more of it. 697 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,680 A new car is a great thing, but not when it's you! 698 00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,640 Oh, you've got a mirror left. 699 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,000 Think how many lives you ruined. 700 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,880 You are the Allegro Estate of modern times, 701 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,440 and you deserve this. 702 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,960 To make matters worse for Ford, 703 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:15,120 in 2000, the British Government decided that company cars 704 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,280 should be taxed, like income. 705 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,639 Yeah, that meant people had to buy their own cars. 706 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,880 And many responded by not buying a car at all. 707 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,760 As interest rates were so low, 708 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,520 it made more sense to lease. 709 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,000 And if you're gonna do that, why not get a BMW? 710 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,120 Or a Mercedes? 711 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,520 As the rot started to take hold, 712 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,440 Ford reverted to type and got serious about motor racing. 713 00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:53,760 In 2000, they came first, second and third 714 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,160 in the British Touring Car Championship. 715 00:39:56,200 --> 00:40:00,280 All three Fords were on the front row again for the sprint race... 716 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:04,400 And the following year, Mondeo sales did go up a bit. 717 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,400 Ford drivers clocking... 718 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:10,880 But then, they stopped motor racing. 719 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:15,200 And the MPVs kept coming, and leasing a Mercedes got cheaper, 720 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:19,000 and the effect on Ford was astonishing. 721 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:26,120 In 1994, they sold 127,000 Mondeos in Britain. 722 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,160 In 2017, that was down to 12,000. 723 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:36,280 And 85% of those 12,000 were fleet sales, 724 00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:38,320 hire car companies and the police. 725 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,560 And that means only 1900 Mondeos 726 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,520 were sold to private buyers. 727 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,200 - Yeah, people that actually went and bought one. - Yeah, 1900. 728 00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:49,040 And, if you think about it, 729 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,280 Ford has 500 dealers in Britain, yeah? 730 00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,600 - Yeah. - Each of those will have taken two Mondeos a year? 731 00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,400 Oh, God, yeah, as demonstrators. Yes, they would have done. 732 00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,920 - So really, we are... - 900, you're talking about. 733 00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:03,040 900 people actually said, "I'll buy one of those with my money." 734 00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:06,120 Yeah, 900 people. 735 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:10,080 When they used to sell 127,000 of them a year. 736 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,200 - That's an astonishing fact. - I know. 737 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:21,160 In America, things are so bad the Mondeo will be pulled from the showrooms this year. 738 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,160 And it's predicted that soon after that, 739 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,560 it'll go from the rest of the world as well. 740 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,600 And when that happens, 741 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,960 Britain will have lost much more than just a car. 742 00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:51,159 The Mondeo was never fancy or spectacular, 743 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:55,000 it never won Le Mans, it was never awarded a Nobel Prize, 744 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:56,960 it didn't write The Grapes Of Wrath. 745 00:41:58,040 --> 00:41:59,680 It was just your mate, 746 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:03,040 someone you enjoyed going to the pub with. 747 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:08,960 And here's the thing. 748 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,400 When someone fancy or spectacular like, say, 749 00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:16,360 Mick Jagger dies, it'll be sad. 750 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,880 But when your mate dies, that is heart-breaking. 751 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,440 So, to give this car the send-off it deserves... 752 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:34,080 we've booked Lincoln Cathedral. 753 00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,920 And invited some like-minded souls 754 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,040 to mark the moment of its passing. 755 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,760 This'll be a funeral for a friend. 756 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,480 A few people have turned up already. 757 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,440 Look at that. 758 00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:19,159 - Big, isn't it? - Very. 759 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:22,840 Tallest building in the world for 250 years, this. 760 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,040 How many people do you think are gonna turn up? 761 00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:28,080 Well, it is a Tuesday afternoon. 762 00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:30,120 Well, we might get 50. 763 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,280 No, I think it could be 100. 764 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,600 - 100 would be nice, wouldn't it? - Yeah. 765 00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:38,080 In fact, it was rather more than 100. 766 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,080 So many people came, 767 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,360 that the traffic in Lincoln ground to a halt. 768 00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,640 And we had to begin the service before they'd all arrived. 769 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,160 Ford, Ford. 770 00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:33,520 Yep. 771 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:37,280 It is very sad. 772 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,880 It is, um... 773 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:47,960 It's very sad, and it's not the only British motoring institution 774 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:49,920 that's coming to an end. 775 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,320 We are. 776 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,560 Aww. 777 00:46:56,600 --> 00:47:00,560 This is not just the last in the series. 778 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:03,960 I mean... sorry, the show as you know it is actually ending, 779 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,600 with you know, the track, audience, us three, 780 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:10,760 and bad... really badly fitting jackets every week. 781 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,280 This is the last one. 782 00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:16,160 It is. It is. 783 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:20,960 It's sad but we have been doing it together for 17 years. 784 00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:22,560 16. 785 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,440 - OK, that's... you were late. - Sorry. 786 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:25,960 Yeah, he was. 787 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,000 Nevertheless, we do feel the time has come to move on. 788 00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,760 - Yeah. - Aww. 789 00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:32,560 Boo! 790 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,120 The problem for us is we can't... 791 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,880 We can't make an announcement as momentous as that 792 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,880 and then just walk out of the tent, can we? 793 00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:42,840 No, we can't. So we've uh... 794 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,600 We've actually put together a montage of some of the things 795 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:50,160 we've done not just at Amazon but also with our previous employers at the BBC. 796 00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:51,400 Here it is. 797 00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:57,120 This is gonna take forever. 798 00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:10,960 Oh... Here we go. Agh! 799 00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,040 ♪ What'll you do when you get lonely? ♪ 800 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:17,720 Oh, my God. 801 00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:19,520 Its carrot's come out. 802 00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,560 Power! Power, come on! 803 00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:22,800 You have to let... 804 00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:26,000 Watch this. 805 00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:29,040 Oh, yeah! 806 00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:30,400 ♪ Layla ♪ 807 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:32,600 - Let's go! - Go on! 808 00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:34,080 ♪ You've got me on my knees ♪ 809 00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:35,520 ♪ Layla ♪ 810 00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,040 ♪ Layla ♪ 811 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,440 Holy shit. 812 00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:46,600 We are in fact at the cutting edge of cocking about. 813 00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,240 ♪ I tried to give you consolation ♪ 814 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,520 Am I dead? 815 00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,200 I can't believe I'm looking in... whoa! 816 00:48:55,240 --> 00:48:58,120 ♪ Like a fool, I fell in love with you ♪ 817 00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:01,680 This could go so wrong. 818 00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:03,640 ♪ Layla ♪ 819 00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:09,120 I've crashed! 820 00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,200 Now I know what it's like to be Richard Hammond. 821 00:49:11,240 --> 00:49:12,800 It's looking good. 822 00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:22,520 Oh, my God! 823 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:31,120 ♪ Please don't say I'll never find a way ♪ 824 00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:36,240 The fact is... 825 00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,560 ♪ You've got me on my knees, Layla ♪ 826 00:49:43,240 --> 00:49:45,560 Ooh, shit! Sorry. 827 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:47,080 What are you two wearing? 828 00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,520 ♪ Darling, won't you ease my worried mind? ♪ 829 00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,400 You bastards! 830 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:21,440 Oh, no! 831 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:24,080 Agh! 832 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,920 USA! USA! USA! 833 00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:33,000 Very scared. 834 00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:40,240 See you there. 835 00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:46,480 Aagh! 836 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:52,720 Bollocks. 837 00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:56,320 Whoa! 838 00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:58,800 Agh! 839 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,080 - Ho-ho-ho! - We have travelled far! 840 00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,080 Is that all right? 841 00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:44,200 Thank you. 842 00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:03,360 Thank you, and honestly. 843 00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,360 Tell you what, though, we haven't half had some laughs. 844 00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,520 We have. 845 00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:11,480 - It was brilliant, wasn't it? - Yeah, it's all just brilliant. 846 00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:15,120 I'm just going back in my head, there's the cow on the Camaro... 847 00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,400 - Yeah. - The indestructible Toyota... 848 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:19,160 - Yeah. - Oliver. 849 00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,320 Beach buggies across the dunes, that was... 850 00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:24,480 Driving down - it was in there - driving down the ski slope in Col... 851 00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,640 That was one of the best things I've ever done. 852 00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,040 My horse mating with your horse whilst we were... 853 00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:30,440 I didn't like that so much, no. 854 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,320 - Him falling off his horse. - Yes. 855 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:34,960 - Him falling off his motorcycle. - A lot, yeah. 856 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,200 And the great thing was, in all of the years we've worked together, 857 00:52:38,240 --> 00:52:43,280 every single time um... one of us fell over, 858 00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,120 there was never any sympathy. 859 00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:48,000 - You'd burst into laughter straight away, 860 00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:49,920 "Ha-ha! He's hurt himself!" 861 00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:53,800 A whole 17 years of your mates not giving a shit. 862 00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:58,040 Well, anyone out there got fond memories? 863 00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,680 James falling over and hitting his head. 864 00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:03,720 James hitting his head in Syria, that was hilarious. 865 00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,800 At least I can't remember. 866 00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:07,400 - Caravans. - What? 867 00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:09,320 - Caravans. - Just caravans, generally. 868 00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:12,240 Endlessly caravans, no, the disintegrating cow... 869 00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:13,880 - It just goes... - Spitfire! 870 00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:16,416 - Spitfires was good. - Sitting in a Spitfire looking at your mates 871 00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,440 also in Spitfires was just... 872 00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:22,200 - Vietnam. - Oh, yeah. 873 00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:23,720 God, I hated Vietnam. 874 00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:25,400 I liked it. 875 00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:28,840 I mean, I liked Vietnam, I just didn't like being on a motorcycle. 876 00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:30,440 Italian supercar. 877 00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:32,920 Well, we've done Italian super cars. There isn't an... 878 00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:35,480 - I liked when we did the cheap ones. - Oh, the cheap ones? 879 00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:39,280 I blew the Maserati's big end right through the windscreen of your Lamborghini. 880 00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:41,720 You literally threw an engine at me. 881 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,920 Yeah, I did literally throw an engine at his head. 882 00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,280 - It's all been epic. - Robin Reliant. 883 00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:47,760 - Don't stop. - What? 884 00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,480 - Don't stop. Carry on. - Please. 885 00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:54,960 Well, um... 886 00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,120 We do have some good news. 887 00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,440 We do have some good news, we're not. 888 00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:06,000 No. 889 00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:09,120 - We're not stopping. - We can't. We'd have to get jobs. 890 00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:10,720 Eugh! 891 00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:12,360 No, we're not actually stopping. 892 00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:15,920 I mean the truth is, Amazon loves us, we love Amazon. 893 00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,480 So we'll carry on a bit, yeah? 894 00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:21,320 Yeah, we'll stick around. The thing is, as I said, 895 00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:24,400 the show as you know it is ending, and that's very upsetting for us. 896 00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:29,160 You know, the audience, and this sort of thing, and the track. 897 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:32,840 But, who'd like to see us doing more big adventures? 898 00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:36,280 Road trips. Road trips? 899 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,720 Specials, who wants some specials, yeah? 900 00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:40,760 Thing is, there is... 901 00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,520 - That's uh... - There is... 902 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:45,280 Thank you. 903 00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:48,040 There's still so much of the world we haven't been to yet. 904 00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:50,760 So many people I haven't insulted. 905 00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,080 There are so many cars he hasn't crashed. 906 00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:58,520 - There's a few. - Exactly. So although this is gone, The Grand Tour goes on. 907 00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:00,360 It goes on! 908 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,440 It goes on. 909 00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:05,080 We are gonna need walking sticks and nappies. 910 00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:07,280 - No, we are. - We are. 911 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,680 So while it's um... it's not goodbye from us, 912 00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:13,440 it is goodbye from this. 913 00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:16,360 Anyone want to buy a tent? 914 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,680 See you, take care. 915 00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:20,480 - See you soon. - Thank you.